The Easiest Way to Overcome Self Limiting Beliefs

So how do you overcome self limiting beliefs? The magic question. That’s why you’re reading this post.

There are two ways. If you listen to traditional psychology, psychology will say attitude must always precede behavior. Right? So think it and then you can do it. Think it then you can do it.

That’s a hard thing for me because it’s hard to force thoughts. It’s hard to change thoughts immediately and quickly. It’s hard to change thoughts consistently over an enduring period of time. So what I find effective, and I’ve read about this too and there was actually this really phenomenal TED Talk video called Your body language may shape who you are: TED Talk that was given by Amy Cuddy, American social psychologist.

But the context of her video was along the lines of, I think it was about confidence. And she had this trick and it reinforced other things I’ve read. This trick or this mechanism of actually leading with behavior and developing a behavioral pattern in order to change your attitude.

Leading with behavior is by far the easiest way for me to overcome self limiting beliefs.

So in her video, she was talking about giving a presentation or speaking in front of large crowds, or public speaking, whatever it was and public speaking is a fear that a lot of people have. So she gave this example of well, do these power poses before you speak right? Stand there like a superhero, and put your hands on your hips and spread your legs apart while you’re standing they’re beyond shoulder width and you have a really broad, firm stance so that you’re consuming a lot of space. Because the more space you consume, the more powerful you appear to be.

Well anyway, the whole notion of it is to lead with behavior and the mind will follow rather than leading with the mind and behavior will follow. So I do that (not the superhero poses!…but leading with behavior) a lot when I come across something that is getting in my way. It’s something that might work for you too.

So when you’re trying to overcome self limiting beliefs , really what you’re doing is you’re replacing, ultimately, these seeds of doubt, these excuses as to why you’re not getting shit done, and you’re replacing them with certainty and positivity and things that enable you to get shit done.

So if you think about applying that, it means that everything you do…you know there’s an old expression…”act as if”, “act as if”. Really what that does is that sums up the whole school of thought of leading with behavior and attitude will follow.

So what it really means is this…move with certainty. Certainty is about confidence, Certainty is about physiological movement. If you’re walking down the street and you’re not saying a word to anybody, and let’s assume for a minute that you’re the most confident person in the world.

Let’s just assume that for a minute. You’re walking down the street. You’re not saying a word to anybody. You’re walking. You’re hunched over. Your shoulders are narrowed. You’re not making eye contact. You’re looking down. People will think that you’re not a confident person, even though you are right?

And as a result of that, your body and your mind will start getting into this cowering sort of space.

Versus, if you’re a person who lacks confidence, and we find this way to magically force you to change your behavior, forget your attitude for a minute, but if you change your behavior and to walk down the street with your shoulders back. Your chest out. You’re standing up straight and tall. You’re looking up and you’re looking people in the eye and you are taking strides that are very deliberate and purposeful and certain, your mind will change and you’re going to feel that pretty quickly.

So here’s what I’m going to ask of you or here’s what I’m going to recommend for you to overcome self limiting beliefs. Go through this exercise, it will help you. Here’s what the exercise is:

Take five minutes, ten minutes tops. Write down or type down the ten things that you would love to accomplish over the next year. Look at that list and say, “if I could wave a magic wand and have one of these ten things in the next twenty-four hours, which one would it be?

Circle it. Put a giant circle around it. Put a star next to it. Underline it. Whatever you need to do. Cross out the other nine and just focus on the one. When you’re looking at that thing that you want to accomplish more so than any of the others, start thinking backwards and ask yourself, “What’s getting in my way of accomplishing this”?

Start from within. What am I imposing upon myself that’s preventing me from working towards this goal? Write that down. Maybe write down the next thing if you’re aware of two or three things that you feel are getting in the way. Focus on them. Think about them.

Put these things in a place where you’re going to constantly reminded. What you’re trying to do is to remind yourself of this thing that you’ve imposed upon yourself that probably isn’t true. You’re going to weigh that and evaluate that against that you want to accomplish.

Of course you know the thing that you want to accomplish is much more important than that crutch that you’ve been using as an excuse to not accomplish that thing that you want to accomplish.

You have them written down. You have them in a place where you’re going to constantly remind yourself of them. If you can think, attitudinally first, and you can change your attitude quickly, then go through whatever process you go through to do that.

If you can’t do that, then focus on behavior first because there is absolutely nothing stopping you from making a decision to do something physiologically. So if you lack confidence and you feel that lack of confidence is getting in the way of your dream and your goals of what you want to accomplish, the do exactly what we just said.

There’s nothing stopping you from standing tall. Getting your chin up. Your shoulders back. Your chest out. Making eye contact with people. Moving and walking and sitting and speaking and shaking hands…with purpose and certainty.

After doing that for just a short period of time, I promise you, I promise you your attitude will follow your behaviors. It’s going to become second nature to you very quickly. And you’ll realize that self limiting belief is gone. You’ll probably form another one. Go through whatever process worked best for you for your first one.

Please think about this. Think about your self limiting beliefs, Think about those things you want to accomplish. Find the most important ones.Write them down. Focus on them. Commit to yourself that you’re going to stop imposing excuses and crutches at the expense of accomplishing your dreams.

Video: The Easiest Way to Overcome Self Limiting Beliefs

How to Accomplish Your Dreams

My wife and I have been talking a lot lately about dreams. Not dreams you have at night but dreams that you have when you’re a kid right? How do you accomplish your dreams?

We’re very fortunate.  We have good lives.  We have three healthy beautiful amazing intelligent talented children, but we’re not living our dreams.  We’re not living the dreams we had when we were kids.

Think about the lack of inhibition, the total freedom of your imagination and your ability to think when you’re a child and you dream about being a billionaire.  That’s what I dreamt about all the time.  I’m not a billionaire.

Maybe you dreamt about being an astronaut. Whatever it was you wake up one day in your 30s or 40s and you realize it just kind of smacks you right in the face and you realize, “I’m not living what I dreamt about when I was a kid.   I’m not a billionaire”.  And you think about what happens right?  What what causes us two going from being so brilliantly wired and imaginative and hungry as children to becoming adults for what we have. No matter how good it is, it’s not what we dreamt of having when we were kids.

What prevents us from fulfilling our dreams?

So what are what are those things that cause us to go from being a 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10-year-old child with wild aspirations and dreams to being in your 30s and 40s and just  going through the routine, through the routine.  What causes that to happen? What prevents you from being able to accomplish your dreams?

There are  a few things. There are societal norms that are placed on everybody right and they come they come presented as rules.

Don’t do that.  Don’t do this. Don’t touch. That’s not yours.  You can’t have that!

These are all guide rails that are put on us as we’re growing up and they start to influence our thinking and our mind that our subconscious mind and they make us realize that things can get in the way of what we want. Harmless things can get in the way of what we want. And over time it changes, it  radically changes that freedom of imagination and thinking that we had. That’s a horrible thing to do somebody.  Because ultimately what it’s doing is it prevent us from fulfilling our potential.  It prevents us from being satisfied.  And those aren’t healthy things.  They’re not healthy at all.

The first step to accomplish your dreams

So what we have to do, I go through this, everybody needs to go through this if you’re not satisfied with where you are. If you’re not living your dream you need to do this. You need to make a decision.  And I know a lot of people are going to say decisions are hard, decisions are real hard right?

They take a while!  Bull! They don’t take a while and they’re not hard.

You make a decision like that!

The hard part is being committed to that decision right? You can make a decision to lose weight and by the time and you put the diet book down or by the time it’s lunchtime on day one of our diets, we’re like “man you know what….I don’t want the salad….I want the burger and french fries” right?

So the decision is a key, critical and important step, but it goes well beyond that because if it just came down to decisions, everybody, EVERYBODY would have everything they want.

So it’s the commitment that separates us.  The commitment that separates us from goodness and greatness. It’s the commitment that separates us from our current reality from something much better and much more fulfilling.

How to remain committed to and  accomplish your dreams

So how do we do that? How do we ensure that we remain committed? Well the number one thing that prevents people from remaining committed to anything..it’s an association that you make with a massive MASSIVE amounts of action that are required when you commit to something.  And you have two choices. You can either associate that action with pain;  which is the easy thing to do.  It’s unfortunately what most people naturally do. Or you can associate that  massive actin and that commitment to pleasure right?

Commitment to fulfill your dream and live your dream requires a lot of hard work on a regular basis.  You are up early.  You go to bed late. You maximize every minute of every day with laser focus on inching closer and closer to your dream while at the same time, living the life you have to live on a daily basis because we all have other obligations  right?

So instead of associating that action that’s part of that massive commitment with pain, what we need to do is associate it with please.

And here’s how we do it.  You ready?

Commitment is about association of pain or pleasure

Every day you stick to your commitment gets you a step further away from your current reality and a step or a day closer to that dream. That dream you had when you were a kid. You have to associate it with that pleasure.  Pain is an easy thing to associate it with.  Associate it with pleasure. That’s the key and you have to do it on a daily basis.

Because if you’re not inching closer to your dream you will never be satisfied and you will never reach your potential. And it is 100% our moral our moral meaning, it’s from within, our moral obligation to fulfill our human potential.  Our own personal potential.

It’s our moral obligation.

We go out of our way to make everybody in our worlds our lives as happy as they can be and we should we absolutely should but guess what? Those same people in our lives they want to see us very happy and they want to see us satisfied. And they will support you in fulfilling your dream.  They will support you and that massive commitment that it takes to accomplish your dreams.

So we have to dream big!  We have to fulfill our moral obligations to inch closer and closer to our potential and it all starts right now with a decision that that’s what we’re going to do.

It’s a decision! And the next thing it’s step one of your commitment.  And do not waver. Do not pull back. Do not hesitate on staying committed every single day until we get closer and closer and closer and we finally fulfill our dreams.

Video: How to Commit to and Accomplish Your Dreams

Positive Attitude and Mindset – Learn How

As I get older, I’m realizing that a positive attitude and mindset is a requirement to be successful.  Negativity is a distraction of success and poison for your life.

Without a positive attitude and mindset, greatness will always be out of reach for you.

Here are 7 ways that have helped me remove negativity from my thinking and form and maintain a positive attitude. I’m certain they will help you too:

  1. Counter negativity by putting up positive reminders (pictures, messages, notes) of the things that make you happy.  They could be pictures of your family, inspirational quotes, a reminder of your definition of success, or a picture of your dream car
  2. Exercise everyday – You’ll feel better almost immediately and doing it every day, whether first thing in the morning or late at night will not only improve your health, but will help you form a positive attitude
  3. Write down your future goals and dreams daily in present tense as though the goal has been achieved.
  4. Create and commit to a disciplined schedule and do not deviate from it. This will create a sense of control. We are all the results of our habits and rituals.
  5. Improve your diet.  Focus on eating healthier foods and drinks. I’m not asking you to count calories, but avoid sugars during the day, reduce fat, and drink a lot more water.
  6. Go to Sleep Early and Get up Early. If you don’t control when you go down, you won’t control when you get up. Early bird stills gets the worm, don’t kid yourself.
  7. Maximize every minute of every day.  Time is the one thing we can never get back.  By structuring your day and filling your calendar up with activity, you’ll have a much greater sense of certainty. White space on a calendar creates uncertainty. The more you have to do the more you will and can do. Commit to more not less.

With everything going on in the world today, its easy to be influenced by negativity.  But  it’s critical for you to realize and own the fact that having a positive attitude is senior to your ability to take action and follow through. The key for massive success is your attitude. Stay committed. Stay focused. Most importantly, stay positive.